One year

My favorite part of the hospital stay after having a baby is that first evening.  Visitors have gone home, the bustle of the maternity ward has settled a bit, lights are turned down, the nurses come in slowly and quietly and leave quickly, Mommy is (hopefully) showered and changed into comfy pj's, baby is swaddled and sleeping. Finally, FINALLY, I get her all to myself.
I remember that first night with Charlotte like it was just last night. I remember what it was like to look into the hospital bassinet and see her sleeping so soundly, belly full. I remember looking at her with wonder at who this new little one was going to become. I remember scooping her up, climbing into bed, and just holding her close.  Smelling her sweet baby skin. Heart full, so in love. Nothing needing to get done but enjoy her, know her, love her.

Happy Birthday sweet one.  How we have enjoyed you this past year!  And OH, the joys that are to come!

This is not a Keurig

This evening as I was straightening up the kitchen, I noticed something new on the counter.

Me: Andy, what is this?
Andy: Oh, that's that one-cup coffee maker you said you wanted.
Me: What?  When did I say that?
Andy: A few weeks ago, when I said that I didn't need the one-cup coffee maker at my office anymore, you said you wanted it.
Me: You mean, this coffee maker that is just like the one we already have on our counter, it just holds less water and fewer grounds and therefore a smaller cup of coffee...?
Andy: Well, you loved the Weymouth's Keurig so much, and it's basically the same thing- see, you don't even need a filter!
Me: But you still have to add water and grounds...
Andy: yeah...
Me: And you have to clean it out after each use..
Andy: yeah...
Me: And we would just stick it on the counter right next to our other, bigger, holds-enough-coffee-I-can-brew-one-pot-for-my-morning-AND-afternoon-fix-coffee maker?
Andy: yeah...

Me: This is not a Keurig.
Andy: No, guess not.

(And for the record, I have absoluetely NO memory of any sort of conversation asking for this coffee maker... hahaha.)

repentance and faith

If you are a mom, and you ever struggle with anger and repenting before your children, you should read this post.

repenting with my children

This is my favorite quote from the article: "I went to bed with a renewed confidence in God's ability to redeem the worst of what's in me and instead of ruining my kids with it (which is a life long fear of mine), actually use it for all of our good to transform us into His image. Thy Kingdom come, O Lord."


It really spoke to me today, to exactly where I am right now in my mothering.

I have heard it said so many times that all of life is a cycle of faith and repentance.  Faith, repentance, faith, repentance, faith....  It is the same with mothering.  All of my days look like this- sin against my children (at this point, Abby), repent, receive her forgiveness, sin again, repent, forgiveness... and it can all get so, so discouraging at times.  But God is so, so faithful, and is redeeming this mess of a mother, and is bringing forth so much fruit even in the middle of desert places.  I am humbled and thankful for His work.  Without His grace, this family would be doomed.  Really, I mean that.  Without His grace I know my children would grow up to resent me, or fear me, or... I don't know what!  But somehow, he brings beauty out of even our ugliest of days, and he is knitting us together. Oh how I need Him!  Thy Kingdom come, O Lord!