Lately...

It seems like since summer began, we have been on the go non-stop! Summer for me starts when students go home at the beginning of May.  I have a week of "ahhhhhh, I have three whole months to do  all the special projects I have been wanting to tackle, clean my house thoroughly, and, when Trisha comes over, go to Starbucks to read instead of plan!!" And then reality sets in.  Our "summer" is often actually busier than the rest of the year, with family reunions, vacation, weddings, holidays, showers, VBS, and so on... Is this just me or do others share in my summer lament?  I need a vacation from vacation!

Anyways, as promised, here is an update on what has been going on at the Benson house lately.

Abby and Charlotte are starting to interact a lot more.  Abby loves, LOVES her little sister.  She loves to read to her, play under the play gym with her, tickle her, giver her hugs and kisses, and try to make her laugh.  Charlotte loves to watch Abby and saves all of her biggest smiles for her big Sis.  I love to watch their relationship grow even at such a young age.  Much of my prayer time right now includes me praying specifically that we would see fruit later on from our efforts now to teach our girls to love, honor, and respect one another.  I spent too much time when I was younger competing and being angry with my brothers, often viewing them as a nuisance instead of a blessing.  I know a lot of this is normal, and I am so thankful that I can now say that my brothers are two of my best friends in the whole world.  So I trust that whatever their middle school years look like, they will one day enjoy each other. But in the meantime, I want to continue to encourage and teach them how to encourage one another and be a blessing to each other.

Charlotte loves her baths!  It is so hot and sticky here that I am finding myself giving her a bath almost daily.  I think Abby got a bath maybe once a week at this age, haha.  But, Abby likes to "help" me wash Charlotte (and by "help" I mean dump water all over her face, poke her eyes, and pour an entire bottle of baby wash into the tub.  Yup).  

This is what happens when you give a 2 1/2-year-old markers and then turn your back to do the dishes.  Mom fail.  Abby win.

And, I think it might have been a little confusing that in the middle of my scolding, I grabbed the camera and said "give me a smile, Abby!" and the proceeded to put her into time out.  Oh well.  

More sister love.  Abby is showing Charlotte her Sesame Street Letter Flashcards (but don't get any ideas that I am diligently teaching her the ABC's.... I have yet to go through them with her.  She just likes to look at the pictures and pull out all the ones with Abby Cadaby one them...).

Will you look at this cuteness?  I can't get enough of it!! I could gobble her up!

As you can see, Charlotte is captivated by Abby!  She already looks up to her.

Sleeping sweetness.  She is a great napper already.  I try not to let her nap anywhere but her bassinet if we are at home now, but sometimes she falls asleep before I can get her swaddled and into our room.  And then she just looks to peaceful to be moved!  

Ummm seriously?  Could you be any cuter??? And would you just look at that yummy belly!!

I had a week of camp for InterVaristy back in May, and my Mom came with me to watch the girls while I was working with students during the day. The girls did awesome, thanks to my Mom the Baby Whisperer.  And, thanks to Abby becoming BFF's with one of my co-workers daughters, Sophia.

Abby's new obsession= ballet!! There is a dance studio next to a restaurant we go to with Andy's parents, and Abby likes to stop and watch the big girls dance on our way out.  The last time we were there, one of the managers came out and invited Abby in to watch the dancing.  She took Abby through the studios, and to the changing room and warm-up room.  Since then, Abby has been practicing her leg lifts (I dont know a single ballet term, forgive me!), and watching ballet movies on You-Tube.  

Seriously?  Do you see this face?

Waiting for Daddy to come home- the best part of our day!!

Laying out the squares for Charlotte's baby quilt.  This tiny little quilt is taking me forever, and it's not even hard!  It's just a quick little nine patch pattern. I'll show more pictures when it's finished!

Again, stop with the cuteness!  I can't take it!

She started smiling around 9ish or 10ish weeks, and smiles all. the. time. now.  I think my heart melts into the floor every time.  There is something about the smiles both of my girls give.  Or, I'm just a huge sap!

Charlotte goes crazy every time there is something hanging above her.  Her play gym, the butterfly mobile hanging in their room, the hokie bird mobile over the crib... And most of the time Abby wants to climb in, too.

Did you notice Abby's big girl underwear a few pictures up? We have been working hard at potty training around here!  She was pretty much trained before we left for ROckbridge.  But, I had her in pull-ups the whole week because I didn't want to stick my mom with a newborn, a two year old, and potty accidents.  Gotta take care of your caregivers!! So, she totally regressed and we've been working to get back into it ever since.  For some reason she not only forgot everything she knew, but she also flat-out refused to go. Ever.  So, with a few enticements by the names of Pez, Jelly Beans, and a Prize Box, we are now on track again.  And, if she is trained by July 5th she gets to take Pre-Ballet!!

All sorts of big-girl things going on around here.  We switched Abby from her crib to a toddler bed a week ago, and at first it was not going well.  So, I got the idea from my bloggy friend Naomi Glenn to have a "Big Girl Bed Party."  She picked out strawberry cupcakes with strawberry icing (can you tell we love pink around here?), and Tinkerbell decorations.  We even put a candle into a cupcake and sang "happy big girl bed to you!!" She took a much better nap that day!

This was my favorite cupcake.  She just kept dumping on the yellow sprinkles!

Now, if someone could please send Abby a memo about sleeping past 5:45am, that would be great.  Now that she can get in and out of bed herself, she gets up wayyyy early in the morning, and gets up too early from her naps as well.  I'm not opposed to getting up if she is really ready, but the girl is so sleep deprived and exhausted.  Particularly with naps- she goes down great but then gets up after an hour, and she really needs a solid two hours, at least.  Any ideas??

At least she's cute!

And, how could I not end on another cute one of Charlotte!  She loves chowing down on her arms and hands.  I think that when she figures it out, we might have a thumb sucker!

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Yes, it has been 3 weeks. 3 FULL weeks since my last post, and even longer since my last post with pictures and updates on the girls. This is unacceptable! I promise to update soon! We have finally recovered from a week away at Rockbridge for InterVaristy's yearly chapter camp, and a long weekend with family, and a four-day weekend for just the four of us. Life is returning to "normal," Abby is back to potty training (we went to the Children's Museum today and were gone for 3 hours, and had NO accidents-YAY!!!), and Charlotte is sleeping through the night and discovering her hands!
Also, in other random news, Andy is the best husband ever. More on that later, but I have been realizing more and more lately how completely BLESSED I am to have such a great husband who continually dies to himself to love me and our girls well. He is Ephesians 5:25-29 in the flesh. Our 5th anniversary is coming up in a few weeks. I cannot wrap my mind around how much I have been changed to my very core from being married to him. Oh I love him so!

And one last thing. As a reward for being potty trained, we are signing Abby up for 6 sessions of pre-ballet this summer. I might not be able to handle the cuteness of seeing her dance around in a little leotard.

Today, just another day...

This morning did not start out well. Abby had to be woken up to get ready for church and she was already extremely sleep deprived from several days in a row of late naps and late bedtimes. We were at the Grandparents house all last week and I let our schedule slide wayyyyy too much and we are paying for it now. Same with potty training. This week= sleep and potty boot camp!

So she was a crabby mess (she may or may not get that from me...). Everything was a battle. Everything produced tears and shrieks and a loud "NO Mommy, STOP! GO AWAY, MOMMY!!"
Charlotte woke up as we dressed her and got her buckled into her carseat, and started crying huge crocodile tears that turned into another loud, sobbing mess. We were already running late when I realized that Charlotte's sobbing was coming from the fact that she was starving and needed to nurse. We had two choices: feed her before leaving and be really really late to church, or hope that she would fall asleep in the car on the way there. We went with plan B. She did not cooperate.
So as we were driving down Chesapeake Ave with still 10 minutes to go, Abby screaming and Charlotte sobbing, I turned to Andy and said, "Happy Mother's Day to me! BIG thumbs up!"
This was NOT how MY day was supposed to go.
Today was Mother's Day, and it was supposed to be filled with reminders of how wonderful it is to be a mom and have a mom. But for me, it started with a reminder of all the not so fun parts of motherhood. The parts that often leave me tired, discouraged, or just plain pulling my hair out in desperation.

For some women, though, these are the moments they long for. These are moments that keep slipping from their grasp as they loose yet another baby, or another adoption attempt fails, or they hear the news from another doctor that the chances are very very slim that they will ever be able to conceive. These moments that I would love to forget and be done with are moments that another woman would do anything to experience.

Mother's Day is a hard day for so many, and for so many of my friends. It's a reminder of another year gone by without a child. Or, its a reminder of the mother they lost and another year of not having them be part of their life. For a lot of us Mother's Day is a wonderful day to celebrate and be celebrated. But for many, its a reminder of what has been lost or what might have been. For a lot of us its a fun, sunny, happy day. But for many, its a hard, sad day.

I only know a tiny bit of this sadness. Last year was a hard Mother's Day as we had lost our baby only a month and a half before. I was watching friend after friend get pregnant and had a huge case of the "what about me, Lord??"s. But then we got our Charlotte just a few months after that, and though the months following were still a tough journey, I hardly tasted what some women have. But, it still changed forever the way I view Mother's Day. Or, the way I think about my friends and women I know who are on a tough journey, on this day.

And, it changed the way I view mornings like this morning. Maybe not in the moment- I still get really overwhelmed and frustrated and even angry! I am so quick to forget how truly blessed I am to have even one beautiful healthy child. Who loves me! And talks to me, and sings to me, and prays for her friends and her bearbear, and who has the most beautiful BIG blue eyes in the world... When my heart stills and quiets enough, I can hear the Lord reminding me that these moments, in all their mess and confusion, are the best moments of my life, and are to be cherished.

So tonight, when the bedtime battle began (because despite our best efforts we still started way too late...), and Abby was screaming and kicking in her crib because she didn't want to go to sleep, I thanked the Lord for one more day with them. One more day full of sleepy eyes, big grins, temper tantrums, snot being smeared down my arm, marker all over her face right before we need to head out the door, strong wills, a quivering bottom lip, big beautiful blue eyes, refusing to keep her clip in her hair, nursing every two hours, waking up only 45 minutes into her nap and my ONLY alone time of the day, no more privacy, endless loads of laundry, peeing all over the floor RIGHT after she swore she "didn't hafta go!".... and so, SO much more.

Give me more days like these, Lord.

Love this

I loved this post today on one of my favorite blogs, Design Mom (see it on the list to the right? go visit!!). So sweet, it made me want to write a letter to myself, too! Maybe to give to my girls one day when they have children of their own?
You can read it here, or here it is, cut and pasted:

This is a letter that I wrote to myself. I wrote it to a younger me with the advice that I wish I had known when I found out that I was pregnant with my first child.

Dear Me,

You’re standing in the bathroom, scared as hell, holding a positive pregnancy test in your hand. Yes you’re married. But no, you weren’t exactly planning on motherhood just yet. You’re terrified. And you’ve learned that it does matter if you forget to take The Pill for a day (maybe 2? 3? Oops.)

But calm down little girl. Wipe the tears off your face. And think about that little kid growing inside you. A little kid (a girl!) who will to love you more than anybody else. A girl who will run to find you first thing every morning. A girl who will cuddle with you for stories every night. A girl who will learn from you, depend on you, and frustrate you. But a girl that will awaken a piece of your heart that you didn’t know you had.

You’re scared. You’re in the middle of your last semester of college. Your husband has at least 2 years of school left as well. You’re poor. You’re really poor. And what about the teaching career you’ve dreamed of since you were just a kid yourself? You feel like you’re losing a part of yourself–sacrificing your body, your brain, your ambition. How can you be a mother? Feed, clothe, clean, teach, carry a child? You can’t even take care of yourself (see what you did with The Pill?) how can you take care of a baby?

Megan, you can be a mother. And you will be a mother—a mother who will cuddle and nurse and rock her baby just like mothers have from the beginning. You will be imperfect. You will worry, oh you will worry, but you will raise that baby the best you know how. And “the best you know how” will be more than good enough.

So, go tell that good husband of yours the good news. Because it is good news. A baby is great news. And go blow your last 5 bucks on some ice cream. Being a mom rocks.

Love,
Me

P.S. Should I also warn you about the twins you’ll have after that little girl? You’ll do okay by them, too.

Welcome to my heart

Don't you love it when a book speaks to the depths of your heart, and puts into words the things you just cant seem to articulate?

This moved me today:

She says I shall now have one mouth the more to fill and two feet the more to shoe, more disturbed nights, more laborious days, and less leisure or visiting, reading, music, and drawing. Well! This is one side of the story, to be sure, but I look at the other. Here is a sweet fragrant mouth to kiss; here are two more feet to make music with their pattering about my nursery. Here is a soul to train for God; and the body in which it dwells is worthy all it will cost, since it is the abode of a kingly tenant. I may see less of friends, but I have gained one dearer than them all, to whom, while I minister in Christ’s name, I make a willing sacrifice of what little leisure for my own recreation my other darlings had left me. Yes, my precious baby, you are welcome to your mother’s heart, welcome to her time, her strength, her health, her tenderest cares, to her lifelong prayers!
(from Stepping Heavenward by Elizabeth Prentiss)

Oh, that my little ones would be welcome to my heart, my time, my strength, my health, my tenderest cares, and my lifelong prayers!



((and yes, Tabitha, if you are reading this, I STILL have your book from, like, 5 years ago...))

Little Mommy

Abby is turning into quite the little mommy. I often catch her "mommying" her baby dolls, doing the same things with them that I do with her and Charlotte. She changes their diapers, puts them in their high chair and feeds them, pushes them around in their stroller, rocks them while whispering "shhh baby, it's ok." And just the other day, she started nursing them.
I about died on the spot when she walked in the room, sat down next to me on the couch, and started trying to feed her baby. "I bwest feeding" is what she says. Oh my goodness, too much!! How she makes me laugh!

Easter Weekend

We had a great Easter weekend, spending time with friends and family, and celebrating Christ's resurrection together!

My Mom had these dresses made for the girls- hand smocked!! Aren't they amazing? I love all the detail on them, and that the girls already have a special "keepsake" to pass on the their own children some day. Charlotte's is a little big on her, but she will grow into it this summer.





On Saturday the Weymouth's had an Egg Hunt and a party for the little girls. Abby had a blast looking for eggs.





Here is our attempt at a family pic on Easter morning- very hard to do with a fussy newborn and a crazy toddler who doesn't want to sit still, and wants to see each picture before taking the next one! And, trying to smile at just the right time for the self timer. Oh well, we will have nice pictures taken of us some day...


Sunday afternoon we had a great time getting together with all of Andy's side of the family here in town. The cousins had another easter egg hunt, and they each got little baskets with treats to take home. I can't tell you how much Abby LOVES her cousins (well, technically her second cousins). They are so sweet with her and she really looks up to them. It is so fun for us to watch her loving her family so much. This is one of our biggest hopes for our children- that they will grow up valuing and loving their family. It is such a joy to see that happening even now!







We are so blessed by the many ways in which through Christ we have new life. Think of all that His death and Resurrection accomplished for us! Peace with God, hope for the future, freedom from the bondage of sin and death, meaning and purpose for our suffering... we have so much to be thankful for.