Also, in other news, Little Benson #3 is looking to make his/her debut in early August. I'm 16 weeks as of yesterday, just starting to feel the fog of early pregnancy beginning to lift (including the all day nausea and vomiting, praise God!!), heard the heartbeat again on Tuesday and just started feeling movement this week. There is nothing in the world like that. Even the third time around it hasn't gotten old, and it hasn't become any less amazing or miraculous.
In fact, I think this one feels almost more miraculous to me. A lot of people I love have struggled or are struggling to get/stay pregnant right now. It's a hard, painful place to be. I feel more aware than ever that I have no control over the life and health of this child. That there is absolutely nothing I did to deserve this baby (or my other two amazing girls, for that matter). Sometimes it seems so unfair. And, I struggle with emotions that seem so conflicting- grief and deep sadness for my friends, guilt (why me and not them??), fear- there is so much that could still go wrong, hope (I felt a kick! Everything will be okay!), excitement and love for this new life inside of me. Sometimes I just don't know how to reconcile it all. But maybe that's not the point?
So, most days, I just try to be thankful. To have gratitude. To learn the daily eucharisteo. It's all from Him, anyways.
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3 comments:
congrats jenny! =) I wonder if you'll have a boy this time?
We are hoping so!! Not that I wouldn't LOVE another girl (and love using all the clothes again!), but, man, do we need some testosterone around here! haha
Yay! Congrats Benson family! That is such exciting news :)
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